Poker, Balance, Crossroads + More!

So I’ve never been one for massive drawn out plans for my posts but normally I have a vague idea of what I plan to talk about.

However for this post so much has gone on recently that I’m just going to start off somewhere and see where we end up. This is probably a super long post incoming but I know some of you are down for it so in the words of the generic Brazilian donk…


So let’s talk about poker, I’ve (even legally lol) been playing for a while and I’ve never really settled down and picked a format. This has without question held me back a lot. Even if I stuck to cash from the start of January (at 10z) until now I would likely be way better at poker and be in a better spot right now.

Whilst I can dwell on that (and the roll I had) I still think I gained some value and learnt a lot from grinding and losing some money on the MTT streets.

I learnt that poker is actually very hard, on so many levels. Especially especially especially in 2016.

It’s such a deep game where mentality plays such an important part too, I think I’ll always have a place in my life for poker since I do genuinely enjoy it but I know balance is so important and it’s easy for poker to play a big part in your life.

The thing is now that if you want to be good poker has to be a big part in your life, which is why my attitude has changed a bit towards the game.

If I cast my mind back to when I was backed grinding MTTSNGs on stars, I was seriously motivated, I was working really hard, talking a lot of poker, grinding hard and learning a lot about myself and my game in a short space of time. However my life outside of poker wasn’t that great (as much as I liked to tell myself at the time it was).

I was pretty depressed, pretty bored and I just wanted to get away from home.

I did what I think was one of the most sensible things at the time to do. I took a break.

I really think taking a break from playing is one of the most underrated things you can do. We constantly surround ourselves in grind heavy communities however within those communities there are always individuals who play themselves right down to the bone. They’re already mentally broken, they’re playing terribly etc.

I know how hard it is to just stop, earlier in the year there were definitely times where I should of just cooled down, but I was jumping back on the horse again and again.

Whilst going down the MTT route the way I did was likely -ev, I still learnt valuable things which I likely wouldn’t of learnt grinding stars zoom for ages.

I could easily share my “everything and everyone can offer your life value” thoughts right now but I’m going to save that for another post.

So here I am, the last day of August, still effectively taking a break from the game. I’m still learning and watching streams and excited to get back on the grind soon-ish.

What do I plan on doing when I get back on, enjoying myself. I’m going to still try and work hard and improve my game but I’ll think I’ll be taking things a bit less seriously then I used to. My degree is pretty full time and I also want to join societies and play squash etc.

I think I’ll likely play cash in the evenings if I have time and play MTTs on Sunday. I actually think I’d like to stream my playing on twitch too as that would really boost my enjoyment whilst playing, even if I lose some ev from answering chat.

It’ll probably be on stars too, yes my moral compass was all over the place. Especially after seeing some of the changes other sites have made recently I’m likely just going to jump back on the stars train.

Again nothings written in stone yet but you’ll be the first to know about any kind of changes.

So since that’s poker mostly done with for now I thought we’d move onto talking about how my summer has been.

It’s been pretty dull, again I live in the South of England in Dorset and it’s pretty dead to say the least. I’ve worked a fair bit and saved some money up from university. I’ve actually worked a lot of really shit jobs.

Night shifts in food factories, 4 days straight in a laundry factory. Some of you may roll your eye’s at me and think I’m just some kid who’s never had to deal with any adversity.

You’re probably right, I’ve had a pretty cushy/easy life up to now, The main crutch I wanted to get into in regards to the work is I feel that the experiences added way more value to my overall life then the money did. Of course earning a bit of money in the summer isn’t bad as a student but I know I never want to do those jobs again.

This is actually a bit of a range merge which shows how flawed I am as a person right now. Let me explain…

So I never want to do these bs summer jobs again, but I don’t want to take poker that seriously…

I need to get a fucking grip *sigh*. What I really should be attempting to do is grinding cash, I think if I can get to the point where I’m comfortably rolled even for something like 10/16z I can work really hard, get tones of volume in and earn just as much as I would working a static schedule for agencies. I know I’d enjoy it a lot more too.

Maybe I should be taking poker seriously at university. Maybe I should be trying to grind in the evenings and on weekends when I have free time. Idk again nothing is set in stone but I’m 20 now and I know my views on things are going to change a lot more then they used to since I’m making way more of an active effort to improve myself as a person then I ever used to. Again like before I’ll keep you guys updated on all this kind of stuff, this is “My Life” after all.

One thing I know I’d never do full time is grind MTTs. Again I may just be uneducated and an idiot in this area but let me explain myself.

If you’re going to actually grind and start getting 2k/3k game months then fine I’m with you. One thing I never get is how people are mentally okay getting like 200 games/month and basically letting variance dictate their every move. It seems like hell and it seems pretty degeny.

Imagine relying on a 3-5k yearly sample with the fields stars are currently churning out, for a living. It literally makes no sense and you don’t even know where you stand with that sample. You could have a winning year feel great, actually be a loser in the games, feel over confident, move up, lose etc.

Of course you can have a good mental place, drop the ego etc but how many actually do that. All I see from people who bink on forums nowadays are #turbo/hyper/sattyskills or whatever. Again, I’ve brought this up before and yes it’s good to be happy and have a good time and no one is perfect but if that doesn’t partially cloud your perspective and outlook I don’t know what does.

I’ll leave you with a quote from James Obst who’s a coach from RIO.

“The inflated ego you get [from winning] can create mental turmoil when you’re on a downswing. Try not to ride the highs & lows.”

^ If more people did this tournaments would be so much tougher than they actually are.

Anyway this actually wasn’t as long as I thought it would be but I’ll be sure to check in here from time to time and post some updates.

I’m also up for answering any questions you have so feel free to fire away!

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